It’s time for that post

It’s starting to hit me, Fletcher is gone. I’ve not had a big cry yet, just a couple of little sobs but I feel it might be on the way today. This is quite an upsetting and long post so I won’t be offended if you don’t read it.

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This weekend we were at Alex’s mum’s house. Saturday was relatively uneventful until our afternoon walk where he started passing blood clots the size of small berries. He didn’t seem to notice and I mentioned that the vet had told me on the phone that they could get to be so big and the blood loss that great that he could pass out. We agreed that we were happy that he still wasn’t bothered and that we weren’t that bad yet. In the evening, Fletcher came to sit with us and eat mini doughnuts. He didn’t eat a whole lot of his tea but he definitely still wanted human junk food, he didn’t really want to go out in the garden before then and refused to leave the house, so I picked him up and plonked him outside, not taking his stubbornness as an answer because I wasn’t having him messing in someone else’s house overnight. We went to bed.

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On Sunday morning we were woken up with a knock on the door, “Alex, Kerry I think Fletcher is dead.”

I went downstairs and I don’t want to go into detail here as it’s inappropriate but I do feel I need to write this. The way we found him haunted me last night. All I will say is he wasn’t in his bed, however he was on his way over to it, but I think he died from a clot to his brain or his heart and was dead before he hit the ground. He was cold so poor Gwen had to sleep in the same room waiting for the morning. It was Sunday, we were away from home and we weren’t ¬†going to take a large dead animal back in the car with us so we had to go and dig a very big hole. Alex has hurt his good wrist and redamaged his broken one, I have a bruise on my palm this morning. Luckily his brother came over straight away and took over. It took three hours but we buried him in cardboard boxes taped together. By this time he looked different and this horrible image keeps coming back to me too.

Good Boy!

We drove home, just the three of us. I have already been sad about not putting him in the garden this morning but I couldn’t get upset yesterday because of the horrible things we had to do and the pictures in my head. I don’t want to remember him this way, so I’ve put some of my favourite pictures here too to take a good look at. Gwen is a little quiet but coping well, at least she won’t be looking for him. I think I’m going to let myself have a little cry today, but first, I have to go to work and try and push both of these things out of my mind.

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This is from when I took him to audition for Toto in the Wizard of Oz!

29 Comments

  1. Beth T.
    Posted March 3, 2014 at 7:45 am | Permalink

    Oh, Kerry, my heart breaks for you and Alex. I hope you’ll soon be able to let go of the upsetting memories of the body Fletcher left behind. That was just a small moment compared with the lifetime you shared with him.

    Perhaps a rose bush or some other plant in the garden to represent your boy? Although he’s not buried there, tending to it might do your heart good.

    with heartfelt condolences,
    Beth in Oregon

  2. Rose Smith
    Posted March 3, 2014 at 8:20 am | Permalink

    Oh Kerry, please don’t worry about your boy not being in your garden with you. He’s gone from your home, but he’ll always be in your heart with you.
    I remember you saying ‘nannies’ was his favourite place, so you’ve done him proud laying him to rest there.
    Try to cancel the bad images in your head, with all the fun times you had together. I love the photo of Fletch at the Wizard of Oz audition – I don’t imagine there were many greyhounds there!
    My thoughts are with you. Sending you loads of big hugs. xxxxxx

  3. Posted March 3, 2014 at 8:27 am | Permalink

    Kerry, I am so incredibly sorry for you. To loose a friend like that is so very painful and he will leave a void for quite some time. Remember you shared a wonderful lifetime with him, gave him all that you could and took wonderful care of him. You gave him the best life he could ask for an in return you received his friendship, loyalty and a little nuzzle or two :) That’s what you remember. Give yourself time to grieve and heal, Kerry. I’ll be thinking of you lots.

  4. Posted March 3, 2014 at 8:51 am | Permalink

    Knowing this was going to happen does not make it any easier to face when reality hits. I am so sorry for you. I know how much you loved Fletcher and he will be missed. Huge hugs and keep looking at the good photos.

  5. Laura
    Posted March 3, 2014 at 9:07 am | Permalink

    I’m in tears for you reading this. I know how much you’ll miss Fletcher. Sending you lots of love and hugs xx

  6. Posted March 3, 2014 at 9:39 am | Permalink

    Thinking of you :( So sad xx

  7. Fran
    Posted March 3, 2014 at 12:09 pm | Permalink

    I’m so sad for you, it’s so devastating when a much loved pet dies. I hope that having a big cry helps you & that you can focus on the lovely images & memories of Fletcher.

  8. moira
    Posted March 3, 2014 at 1:24 pm | Permalink

    Aww, sweetie. It will be tough for longer than you think but try to focus on the happiness that Fletch found with you and Alex and that you foudn with him. Hugs to you both and little gwen x

  9. Posted March 3, 2014 at 1:26 pm | Permalink

    Aww, I’m so sorry (((((HUGS))))) He had a wonderful life with you before he went.

  10. Nancy W
    Posted March 3, 2014 at 1:46 pm | Permalink

    My heart aches for you. Continue to look at all those fantastic pictures and fantastic memories. Hoping the painful ones will subside. (((HUG)))

  11. Colleen
    Posted March 3, 2014 at 1:53 pm | Permalink

    Sometimes the images of shock stay with us a while but will soon be replaced by the love in your heart. He was gone then and you have to remember that and not be haunted by it. He loved you and you loved him to bits and he probably died instantly. Please cry and take as much time as you need to. It’s a hard loss but the love will always be.

  12. Michele T
    Posted March 3, 2014 at 2:21 pm | Permalink

    I am so, so, so sorry to learn of your loss. Losing a beloved family member leaves an incredible emptiness but remember that Fletcher had his best days with you… hold on to those cherished memories to get through this most difficult time. ((Hugs))

  13. Posted March 3, 2014 at 2:31 pm | Permalink

    I am so sorry for your loss. Greyhounds are just the sweetest animals and it’s so hard losing a pet. You’re in my thoughts.

  14. Patti
    Posted March 3, 2014 at 2:40 pm | Permalink

    My heart breaks for you. Wishing you peace.

  15. Posted March 3, 2014 at 4:12 pm | Permalink

    Hope you manage to refocus on all of the positive happy times with Fletcher, sorry you’ve been left with awful mental images, but they will fade in time! xxx

  16. Posted March 3, 2014 at 5:19 pm | Permalink

    oh no Kerry, I am so sorry. I’m struggling to write this as what do you say to someone who’s lost a family member. I’m certain Fletcher had a wonderful and happy life with you and Alex. The terrible final image will fade, that wasn’t Fletcher you saw, Fletcher was the young whippersnapper who went to auditions! Did he get the part by the way? Thinking of you xxx

  17. Posted March 3, 2014 at 6:50 pm | Permalink

    So sorry for your loss. What a hard way for things to unfold – away from home. The hard images will fade over time, although the missing him might not. I love the pictures and hope you will feel free to share more as you adjust to life without his physical presence.

  18. Posted March 3, 2014 at 7:10 pm | Permalink

    I’m so sorry! You let yourself for that cry, it actually helps quite a bit. These are pretty pictures here and lovely memories to have. Wish you all the best! Kat.

  19. Posted March 3, 2014 at 7:51 pm | Permalink

    Oh Kerry I am so very sorry :’-( he looks like such a sweet and lovely dog. Do have a good cry … And I hope this weekend fades soon and leaves you with happy memories xxx

  20. Nan
    Posted March 3, 2014 at 8:16 pm | Permalink

    Kerry I am so sorry to hear about poor Fletcher. I hope that the bad images fade soon and your lovely memories of him can take their place in your mind. lots of love

  21. Catrin
    Posted March 3, 2014 at 9:12 pm | Permalink

    X

  22. Patti
    Posted March 3, 2014 at 9:59 pm | Permalink

    It’s a difficult thing to share painful moments, but I am glad that you did, Kerry. Definitely, have yourself a good cry, and I will be shedding a few tears with you. Hugs to you and your family, and warm, cozy thoughts to sweet Fletcher

  23. Sarah
    Posted March 3, 2014 at 10:08 pm | Permalink

    I don’t even know you but I’ve been dreading this post! I am so, so sorry. It sounds like Fletcher had an awesome life and an awesome family, and that is what you should concentrate on. Please don’t dwell on the last moments.

  24. Posted March 3, 2014 at 10:09 pm | Permalink

    I’m so sorry Kerry, I’m a dog owner myself these days, so I’ve got a little bit more insight into what a loss this. Take care of yourself.

  25. Mary Ann
    Posted March 3, 2014 at 11:21 pm | Permalink

    I am so sorry to hear about Fletcher. I really enjoyed your blog stories about him. He was such a pretty dog. Looking forward to keeping on ready your blog………

    Mary Ann
    USA

  26. Posted March 4, 2014 at 1:56 am | Permalink

    I too am so sad to hear and I will be thinking of you. I have to say that it is wonderful that he got to spend his time enjoying his family to the last minute and never alone or in a strange place. Have a good cry or three and think about the best of times with him, soon that is what you will be remembering.

  27. Jeannie D in TN
    Posted March 4, 2014 at 3:56 pm | Permalink

    Oh Keri, my heart hurts so much for you…sad news indeed. Take all the time you need to grieve. When the time is right perhaps a little Dogwood tree in the garden will help to remind you of Fletcher and all the happiness he brought to your life. xox

  28. Posted March 4, 2014 at 9:24 pm | Permalink

    I’m so sorry to read this post, Kerry. Fletcher was such a dear dog and so lucky to have you to care for him. Take care x

  29. Posted March 5, 2014 at 2:32 pm | Permalink

    Please accept my deepest sympathies for your loss. Pets fill our lives with joy, and often a lot of poop, and when they leave us, they take a piece of our hearts with them. Thankfully, they made it so much bigger, that the piece they took with them more than makes up for it. Good thoughts are reaching out from a snowy Michigan friend.

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